April 2006
April 28, 2006
Web Surfers in the U.S.
The latest report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project is now available, and in the latest survey the non-profit organization reports that 73% of all Americans are now using the Web in some fashion or the other, an increase of 7% from the same period last year.
147 Million Web Surfers in the U.S.
Quote of the Day
To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains.
Mary Pettibone Poole, A Glass Eye at a Keyhole, 1938
A Play on Words
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you,but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says:"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not
Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.. Daisy says to
Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,
"I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"
16. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd
diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this
is so bad, it's good).. a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
17. And finally, there was the person who sent seventeen different
puns to his friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns
would make them laugh.No pun in ten did.
Living in 2006
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends you know you want to! you know you are living in 2006
April 27, 2006
Effective Web Searching
By using these simple strategies you will dramatically improve the efficiency of your web searches
Effective Web Searching Module 1: Boolean Operators
Tablet PC for every student
The uphill battle that tablet computing continues to face in winning favor with consumers hasn't dampened Bill Gates' enthusiasm for the technology. Microsoft's chairman and chief software architect said Friday that someday tablet PCs will replace textbooks for all students.
Gates sees a tablet PC for every student
Blog Usage
"The blogosphere continues to grow at a quickening pace." wrote, Technorati CEO Dave Sifry, almost three months ago, when his leading blog search engine, Technorati, reported to be tracking over 27.2 Million weblogs.
Blog Usage Statistics And Trends: State Of The Blogosphere
Quote of the Day
When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.
Clyde B. Aster
April 26, 2006
Quote of the Day
An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't.
Anatole France
French novelist (1844 - 1924)
April 25, 2006
Crash Course in Learning Theory
One formula (of many) for a successful blog is to create a "learning blog". A blog that shares what you know, to help others. Even--or especially--if that means giving away your "secrets". Teaching people to do what you do is one of the best ways we know to grow an audience--an audience of users you want to help.
Crash course in learning theory
Hitchhikers Guide to Course Development
What a comprehensive guide...
hitchhikers guide to course development
Word Document Cleaner
"We must put all our Word documents online." Eight words that strike fear into the hearts of web professionals everywhere. Why MS Word generates bad HTML. A free tool that fixes Word's bad HTML.
Virus Warnings...
This gave me a chuckle.
If you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOSH'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone
Google Alerts
Some handy uses of Google Alerts include:
monitoring a developing news story
keeping current on a competitor or industry
getting the latest on a celebrity or event
keeping tabs on your favorite sports teams
Pandora
Now this is getting more of what I expected the internet music to be like...
Rock on...
Those questions often evolved into great conversations. Each friend told us their favorite artists and songs, explored the music we suggested, gave us feedback, and we in turn made new suggestions. Everybody started joking that we were now their personal DJs.
We created Pandora so that we can have that same kind of conversation with you.
April 24, 2006
Online Student Wellness
Intellectual, physical, social, emotional, and spiritual factors all affect a balanced lifestyle.
This website
identifies those issues related to wellness and well being for on-line distance education students;
describes intellectual, physical, emotional, spiritual and social states of well being; and
investigates ways of ensuring maximum well being.
Online Student Wellness
Protopage
Create your own free Protopage, then:
Use it to catch up with news from hundreds of sources (including the BBC, CNN, Reuters, New York Times, London Times, CNET, ESPN, ...)
Put color coded sticky notes, todo lists and reminders on it
Keep your frequently accessed bookmarks on it
Name it (e.g. as www.protopage.com/yourname)
Share parts of your page with friends, or keep it private
Use it to share photos
Set it as your browser 'start page' for easy access
Online Teaching
Today, many post secondary educators are being faced with the opportunity and challenge to teach in an online setting. For many this is a new and unanticipated activity and one for which they are ill prepared.
Online Teaching: Have you got what it takes?
The Internet's Newest Craze.
Remember the old volcano science project using baking soda and vinegar? A similar trick is quickly becoming popular among kids. And they're using items that they may already eat and drink daily. The trick involves Mentos and soda.
Dropout Nation
The number of high school students who leave before graduating is higher--much higher--than you think. Inside one town's struggle to reverse the tide.
Special Report: Dropout Nation
Quote of the Day
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
Warren Beatty
April 23, 2006
ESLtown.com
A Great Place to
Learn English Online
Find pen pals, play ESL games, chat with others, improve listening skills, read stories, do quizzes, and make new friends at ESLtown.com.
April 15, 2006
Easter is here
Happy Easter for you and your. I will be taking some time with my family, so I will not be posting a lot in the next couple of days.
Enjoy the break.
April 13, 2006
This was sent to me by one of the teachers.
And I understand.
The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem
I Love My Job!
I love my job, I love the pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, he is the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.
I love my office and its location, I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and grey, and piles of paper that grow each day!
I think my job is really swell, there's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work amoung my peers, I love their leers and jeers, and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it won't care. I love each program and every file.
I'd love them more if they worked a while.
I'm happy to be here. I am. I am.
I'm the happiest slave of the Firm, I am.
I love this work, I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job - I'll say it again - I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who've come today,
In clean white coats to take me away !!!!
Making Good on a Promise
In a society that values individual reinvention and multiple
makeovers, it seems a given that we should promise a second
chance to young people who drop out of high school and then
make the effort to continue their education. Yet little discussion
has focused on a critical question: Are pathways available to help
dropouts pursue an education and move toward an economically
productive adulthood? This report assesses how far our society is
from “making good” on the promise of a second chance and
offers a starting point for improving the record.
Quote of the Day
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
Ambrose Bierce,
US author & satirist (1842 - 1914)
Children Stay Safe Using Blogs?
When creating a blog, there are a number of things to remember in order to stay safe.
How can Children Stay Safe Using Blogs?
April 12, 2006
PMI Explained
Some people have been wondering about the PMIs that I did with my staff the last couple of weeks. Here is a site that explains all about them.
Mind Tools: PMI Weighing the Pros and Cons of a Decision
Staff PMI
Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
One of the positive things about cyber school is it provides me with a balance between teaching in front of students and teaching to students through a computer. The other positive aspect of cyber school is the interacting with colleagues and discussing courses or programs in a setting that is very relaxed. Also, I may not have had the opportunity to work with some of these individuals if not for cyber school.
One negative aspect of cyber school is the frustration of not getting to the pod due to my timetable. Having a period 1 and 5 prep or period 2 and 5 prep, for the third semester now, does not lend itself nicely to getting to the pod when others are there. A second negative about my cyber school is my course. There are aspects of my course that I would like to change but I have not had the time. My course is finished but there are updates to the course that I would like to try and change.
One of the interesting things about cyber school is the development of learning communities. This program has spread throughout the division with the possibilities being endless. The other interesting aspect about cyber school is the people, and I mean everyone. People who do not teach a cyber class do not know what they are missing and the people make it easy to work in cyber world. Another aspect that just came to me (no really it just did) is the ability to alter the course to meet individual needs. There is a boy who is visually impaired and there are changes to my course that I can make to help him be successful. That is all
Future belongs to technology-enabled education
"We cannot escape from technology, so the best thing is to adopt it like the mobile phone and the Internet. By doing so we are not replacing teachers, only supplementing them," he said, adding that there should be no distinction between "teachers" and "students", because both were learners.
'Future belongs to technology-enabled education'
Online High School Introduces 'Virtual Clubs'
Online education isn't just a solitary pursuit anymore. At the University of Miami Online High School, a new wave of "virtual clubs" is putting the "school" back in "virtual school." Students now have the opportunity to "virtually" participate in a number of clubs and other extracurricular activities, such as the Spanish Club, National Honor Society, and Literary Magazine.
Online High School Introduces 'Virtual Clubs'
Quote of the Day
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
William James
US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 - 1910)
April 11, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
Positive things about the Cyber Courses:
- Student Calendar (detailed)
- Detailed Notes and Solutions to assignments using animations to get key ideas across
Negative things about the Cyber Courses:
- Need for more links and images to provide students a more variety of experiences to fully understand the curriculum presented
- Need for more full class discussions to allow for all students to engage in expressing their views and ideas on a variety of physics related topics
-Lack of time to be able to upgrade the courses and make the necessary changes
Interesting things about the Cyber Courses and Cyber School in general:
-Availability of Hybrid Courses to regular Students
-Online Science Club
-Learning Communities
Building an Evaluation Plan
Online degree programs are continuing to gain popularity among institutions of higher education as indicated by U.S. News who recently listed 263 accredited online graduate degree programs on its Web site (U. S. News and World Report, U.S. News Online, n.d.) As the access afforded by distance education increases the number of students served, educational institutions must develop processes that ensure quality in their programs (Schott, Chernish, Dooley, & Lindner, 2003). This paper describes the research undertaken to develop an evaluation plan for a fully online graduate degree program.
Building an Evaluation Plan for Fully Online Degree Programs
Quote of the Day
I am not really a cat fan but this is funny.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez
April 10, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
Positive:
two positive things about Cyber School or your course:
The pod is a necessary link to sanity.
My courses offer a lot of freedom. Students have a ton of flexibility.
Negatives:
two negative things about Cyber School or your course
The nature of the student in my courses, combined with the nature of the 180-day system, makes it virtually impossible to have any meaningful course discussions. Both of my courses (and I) would benefit from this. As is, the courses are more like correspondence courses.
My courses offer a lot of freedom. Students have a ton of flexibility. I have to build more bench marks into my course to keep the student responsible for their own progress. After a certain point, the problem is transferred to me, and I find it completely exhausting.
Interesting
two interesting things about your course or cyber school.
The way online students complete the course is very interesting. (note I didn’t say “learn”) I’m constantly finding a balance between content and skills, and new methods by which to evaluate my course objectives.
The number of students who are eager to have face-to-face meetings. The sense of community is very strong online, but only seems validated by some sort of physical, social gathering.
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
Positives: For me, cyber school is great because of the people involved, the flexibility and accessibility of the work, and the constant challenge that it provides!
Negatives: 1. Since I didn't develop the course, I am still not comfortable with making all the changes/upgrades to the course. 2. I find it difficult/frustrating providing math help for students who are struggling with the course content. It seems so much easier in a face to face enivronment. 3. Overall, I feel like I spend more time "tracking" students who are behind or inactive, rather than "teaching" the students who are working on the course.
Interesting: 1. I learn something new every day. 2. I feel like I am finally starting to make some decent changes/modifications to the course (thanks to help from Kelli!).
Quote of the Day
Still my favourite:
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay
A VISITORS GUIDE TO SASKATOON
1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name.
It is Sask-a-tune not Stoon and it does not matter
how people pronounce it in other places.
2. Saskatoon has its own version of traffic rules. Never forget that downtown Saskatoon is composed in large part of 3 or 4 block streets. The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around and start over when you reach the river.
3. All directions start with, "Go down Circle Drive..."
4. Circle Drive has no beginning and no end.
5. The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you cannot be from Saskatoon.
7. Idylwyld can only be pronounced by a native Saskatonian, so do not attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you blankly.
8. Bingo, Bugs and Baseball are a way of life. Deal with it.
9. Construction on Saskatoon streets in summer is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
10. Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by uttering the phrase, "Ohhhh, we're in Sutherland!!"
11. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.
12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it was probably left on at the factory where the car was made.
13. Buying a Saskatoon street map is a waste of money since the termination or continuation of any street is entirely at the discretion of the Works Department of the City.
14. Asking directions will help you get acquainted with the numerous recent residents. It will not be any help at all for finding the address you seek.
15. Never honk your horn at another car in traffic. The bumper sticker that reads,"Keep honking, I'm reloading." is considered a fair warning.
16. Exit and entry ramps on Circle Drive are just the recommended way of entering and exiting, feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.
Hope you find this funny...sorry if it insulted anyone.
April 7, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
First, I would like to thank you again for the opportunity to be at Cyber School. I love it here!
It is still very early in my Cyber School experience, but there are far more positives than negatives.
Positives·
I truly enjoy working (the times that I am able get to the pod) at Cyber School in the afternoons. I especially appreciate the camaraderie of the fellow cyber staff members.
· I really like the direction of the course so far in its development.
· The help that I have received from everyone at Cyber School has been tremendous, from the ladies at the front who are awesome to the other staff members who continue to help me so much along the way.
Minuses·
I have found that unless I leave face to face school in the afternoons, at least in the course development stage, it is almost impossible to get much accomplished. Yet at the same time I find It very difficult, especially with the responsibilities of department head, SSSAD Rep, Intramural Supervisor and extracurricular duties, to leave school at all.
· I am behind where I need to be at this point in time.
Interesting·
What is interesting so far is that I still haven’t figured out for sure how I am going to monitor the physical fitness/practical side of the course. I know we’ve discussed a few good ideas that I like, but I am still a little uncertain how smooth it is going to the actual process will be.
· I have learned something new about computers and each activity unit every time I sit down to work.
Toilet Lid Sink
This has nothing to do with online teaching or developing, I just thought it was neat...and it is friday.
After you flush the toilet, incoming water cycles up through the sink before going down to refill the toilet tank. Water is used twice: Once for hand washing, and a second time for the next flush.
Top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes
I know that I let April the first slide by with no hoaxes or even links to ones. So, this is catch up.
The Top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Times
Quote of the Day
For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.
J. W. Schopf
April 6, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
2 positives:
· Creativity… I love being free to create, develop, test and learn so many new things. I am very excited that I do not have any filler jobs next year and I can devote my time to Cyber priorities.
· I enjoy the flexibility of Cyber School. Sometimes it is definitely easier to get work done at home or on the weekend. It is nice that we are able to do that.
· I enjoy working with other teachers, admin etc. I feel like what I do here is something that may have been lacking in our division (teacher support) I feel like I make a difference and make theirs lives a little bit easier.
· I would like to develop or work with someone to develop a new elem resource. I know I could do the tech for grades 6-8 but I think that I only really need to do a couple of units. The resources would be better spent developing science or social studies objects like Michelle wrote for Math.
2 Negatives: (I don’t have much to say - I love my job)
Quote of the Day
My country owes me nothing. It gave me, as it gives every boy and girl, a chance. It gave me schooling, independence of action, opportunity for service and honor. In no other land could a boy from a country village, without inheritance or influential friends, look forward with unbounded hope.
Herbert Hoover
US mining engineer & politician (1874 - 1964)
April 5, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
Plus
I do not use unit exams. The unit projects are comprehensive projects that force students to use all the skills of the units. This prevents any cheating since each project is individual and unique. It also is provides practical uses for the skills, this is a practical art.
Each page has either a short quiz or short assignment. It forces students to use and visit the topic immediately.
Minus
I do not have a final project. Although the unit 5 project has them revisit the entire course, it might be better to have them use all aspects of the course in one project. I am reluctant to do this for one reason…
I think that the projects may already be too long. The number of hours to do a good job on this course could be too high, where as the number of hours necessary to get a passing grade in the course may be too short.
Interesting
Students seem to be able to do the Access unit, but I’m not sure if they understand it. I need another method of teaching and evaluating this unit.
I’m getting close to the MOUS skills.
Top Ten Coolest Laptop Cases
Laptop cases are no longer simply about getting your laptop from one place to another; you can do that with a plastic grocery bag. With more people than ever daily toting their computers between the office and the home, the laptop case is now expected to mix durability, security, style—the ratio of those elements is up to you. Here’s a list of some of our favorite laptop cases that we’ve come across over the last year, each mixing function and fashion in their own way. Which works for you?
Quote of the Day
I never know how much of what I say is true.
Bette Midler
April 4, 2006
Staff PMI
Over the next couple of weeks I will post staff PMI's. Once a year the staff at the cyber school have a meeting with the administration of the school to talk. This meeting uses PMIs to start the process. PMI stands for Positive, Negative, and Interesting.
The following is from one of the instructors at the cyber school.
Two positive things about Cyber are:
The staff spirit … a day does not go by without a smile, a joke, a friendly greeting etc.
The staff support … bouncing ideas of each other, getting positive feedback and positive support when needed and just being there for any questions or comments.
Two negative things about Cyber are:
Time constraints … No time to do what needs to be done in a day (or half day in my case).
Two interesting things about Cyber School are:
Recognition … it is interesting to me that we are not recognized as doing something important to the outside f2f schools
The concept of Cyber … it is interesting to see how fast this concept is growing … how many students are intrigued and willing to try alternative (other ways of learning) schooling and how excited they become to do it (I see this often when I talk or meet first time students interested in Cyber).
Teaching kids to drive the Net
Don't talk to strangers. Don't run on the ice. Look both ways before crossing the street. For most people, they're lessons learned at an early age.
But in the digital world--where kids juggle talking on a cell phone, instant chatting with friends, doing online homework and games, and blogging on sites like MySpace.com--life's little lessons take on a whole new level of complexity.
Teaching kids to drive the Net
The TDO has been online for ...
The Teaching and Developing Online blog has been online since August 30 2003... As show below time waits for no one.
Our education system must adapt to changing realities
The expectation of today's student and employeris that learning will be more relevant and real. What would a 21st century educational environment look like with imagination, innovation and creativity that incorporates 21st century technology?
Our education system must adapt to changing realities
Quote of the Day
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
Bertrand Russell
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)
April 3, 2006
April's Poll
the New Poll for April
Quote of the Day
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
Niels Bohr, to a young physicist
Danish physicist (1885 - 1962)
Michigan first to mandate online learning.
Michigan became the first state in the nation to have students experience some form of online instruction before receiving a diploma when the state legislature on March 30 approved a bill to ratchet up the state's graduation requirements.
Michigan first to mandate online learning.
Bad English
* Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine
* A backward poet writes inverse
* A mans home is his castle, in a manor of speaking
* Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
* Practice safe eating - always use condiments
* Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death
* A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy
* A hangover is the wrath of grapes
* Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play
* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* Reading while sunbathing makes you well red
* When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I
* A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired
* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
* In democracy your vote counts; in feudalism your count votes
* She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off
* A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion
* If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds
* The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered
* You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it
* Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under
* He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key
* Every calendar's days are numbered
* A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine
* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
* He had a photographic memory that was never developed
* A plateau is a high form of flattery
* A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large
* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end
* Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses
* Acupuncture is a jab well done
